My battery was dead dead dead.
The repair was slow going, but not because of the instructions/guide provided here, but because the glass on my iPhone had been replaced before, and the adhesive tape holding it to the LCD Screen did not pull the LCD screen assembly. And in truth, this was not too big of a problem, I just searched the 1.5k solutions for someone who had the same issue and figured it out.
If you "glass" pulls away, use a sharp object "plastic knife" (I used an exacto, oops.) placed in the slot under the button and pry up while placing the spudger under the screen assembly and carefully lift it up.